Breaking: Fake News for April Fools

Posted on Apr 1, 2017 in Alumni News and News

It’s that time of year again! Every year on April 1, the KU Alumni Association plays a playful prank on unsuspecting alumni, sending a special April Fool’s Day edition of our alumni e-newsletter. Last year, many alumni swore they wouldn’t be fooled again, so surely these “fake news” stories won’t make them do a double-take. With that caveat, you’ve been warned, dear reader. Proceed at your own risk, and have a happy April Fool’s Day!

KU Debate team wins argument to have NCAA overturn Elite 8 result

KU Debate TeamIn a surprising turn of events, members of the KU Debate Team successfully argued to have the NCAA overturn the result of KU’s Elite 8 loss to the Oregon Ducks.

Fresh off their own appearance in the quarterfinals of the National Debate Tournament, KU sophomores Jacob Hegna and Henry Walter disproved that the Ducks deserved to win based on the final score, citing KU’s rich heritage in basketball as the prevailing factor– a tradition, they noted, surpassed only by the strong tradition of KU Debate, which includes five National Debate Tournament Championships and 15 final four appearances.

Kansas will take Oregon’s spot in the NCAA Final Four Saturday night against North Carolina. Sorry, Ducks.


Wescoe to rise Far Above

Wescoe Hall via kualumni.orgOn the heels of KU’s most successful fundraising effort, Far Above: the Campaign for Kansas, KU officials announced the campaign’s crowning achievement today. Wescoe Hall will finally be completed, honoring the original plan for KU’s central classroom building to be a 25-story structure.

“Wescoe will rise ‘far above’ as intended all along,” said a KU spokesperson.

Once completed in 2073, just in time for the building’s centennial celebration, Wescoe will finally fulfill its destiny as the tallest building on campus–eclipsing Fraser Hall–while providing much-needed shade for sunbathers on Wescoe Beach.


Steam Whistle under repair, interim whistle appointed

Steam Whistle via kualumni.orgKU’s aging steam whistle blew its top this week after years of tooting duty. To keep KU’s classes on schedule, an interim whistle with worthwhile whistling experience had to be named.

While several Big 12 basketball referees applied for the position, it was widely expected that the job would go to the the famous Fieldhouse whistlers we reported on here. Then, almost serendipitously, a suitable substitute successfully slid into the role. Watch the video below to listen to KU’s new (and we think, improved) steam whistle.

 


Texas asks for rematch at KU Football’s spring game

KU Football via kualumni.orgStill reeling from last fall’s loss in Lawrence, the Longhorns of Texas reportedly reached out to Kansas Football officials to request a rematch at this year’s spring game, scheduled for April 15 at 1 p.m. at Memorial Stadium.

With little left to prove following KU’s 24-21 OT victory in 2016, Coach David Beaty and the Jayhawks continue preparations for the 2017 KU Football season, which opens at home Saturday, September 2 against Southeast Missouri State. Texas will have to wait until Nov. 11 when the Jayhawks come to Austin.


Bill Self adopts bulldog, names it Frank

Bulldog Frank MasonStill emotionally compromised due to the expiring eligibility of “the best guard” he’s ever coached, KU men’s basketball coach Bill Self reportedly adopted a pet bulldog from the Lawrence Humane Society this week, naming the dog Frank after KU senior Frank Mason, who was recently named the AP National Player of the Year.

When asked why he specifically wanted to adopt that particular breed, Self said he happened to be in the market for a “guard” dog.

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